Friendzoned?

Friendzoned?

Friendzoned

Ilustración de Juan Felipe Arango

How to scape and tell the story

She pretends he is just a friend

“There is no word for friendzone in Dothraki” says a joke about Ser Jorah Mormont being kept in the friendzone by his beloved Khaleesi. And what is that, exactly? It means that while he is (either openly or subtly) hitting on her, she pretends he is just a friend. It doesn’t mean that she feels uncomfortable. On the contrary, she enjoys being flirted with and even having him doing beyond-friendship favors for her. And still, she is not going to marry him, not even date or shag him.

Friendzone is a limbo, like the ghost zone where Superman’s dad used to send dangerous super criminals (do you remember General Zod?). Once you find yourself stranded in the friendzone it is very difficult to make your way out because it seems to have its own gravity, and regular “rules” about relationships don’t seem to apply. That is why in there you feel in the same difficult position that most zombies must be: not alive not dead, or in this case, not a wooer nor a friend.

This is not a very appealing prospect, so why would you allow yourself to be friendzoned? Most likely you start approaching the person you like but you act very subtly, acting casual so in case your intentions are discovered you can pretend everything was a misunderstanding because you were “not hitting on” her. Sure, it saves you from the embarrassment of rejection but if you are not clear, the target of your affection could not even know you are interested. And you will have no way to know for sure whether she likes you back or not.

So, you realise you are being friendzoned. How to escape? If you do not have a strong will to fight your way out of the friendzone’s gravity pull, you are going to need an external aid. Most likely it will come in the shape of another suitor. For example, consider the following scenario: you enter Twitter and Facebook to stalk your crush as you do several times a day and you realise that… the same person that told you she was not interested in having a boyfriend right now… changed her status to “IN A RELATIONSHIP”? Do as Darth Vader taught us: after creaming “NOOOOOOOooooooooo” on your knees for about 30 seconds, use your anger to start the chain reaction of the Dark Side and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

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