There is an image that recurrently appears in my Facebook or Twitter from time to time: a woman I used to date, smiling ear to ear, with a distinctive landmark of London behind her. So happy. Without me. Why me?
Everything started a long time ago when my girlfriend at that time and I were planning to go abroad together to study. Despite our first option was United States we always had been fascinated by Great Britain and its neighbourhood, so we found ourselves dreaming of England during our conversations regarding THE PLAN. We spent time and money learning English with a very strict teacher who used to yell in Russian when some rookie mistake we made drove her upset (just kidding Eka, we love you!). We started to avoid films dubbed to Spanish and local TV, so we could practice our listening skills, and gradually passed from books and local magazines to English literature. In time, we drifted away from local parties splashed with Reggaeton/Ranchenato (indeed, it’s as awful as it sounds) and hanging out with non bilingual friends in favour of British radio shows and friends who lived abroad. I guess I focused so hard on London that somehow I got locked on that target for good.
Finally my girlfriend got her loan and flew to London to get her master degree while I stayed in the hope of joining her later. And then the pictures started.
Eventually we took different paths and in time started to date other people. I noticed a pattern on my dates: they enjoy American/British shows, hate dubbed films, are versed in English literature and have a fair understanding of Westeros, the Middle Earth, Vulcan and their inhabitants. Unfortunately, those women are much more likely to go abroad to study than the regular neighbour that does not miss a show from RCN and Caracol. And I turned out to be a victim of the equivalent of Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle (two complementary variables about a subatomic particle cannot be known with absolute precision simultaneously), where there are three properties I look for in a woman that are unlikely to be met at the same time: I like her, she likes me but we do not live in the same city. Or I like her and we live in the same city but she does not like me… and so on, only two out of three.
The thing is that most of the women I dated (or that I happened to like) since then, eventually make plans for going somewhere else to work or study, specifically to England. And they succeeded. Actually I am considering to open some sort of service for women looking to get a degree in a British university, something with a slogan than goes “Fancy to study abroad? Your search is over! Date me and you will be flying there in no time!”